Here we sit, in the waiting room on the 17th floor. Bennet's surgery is over 1/2 way done. I'm exhausted. Took an anxiety pill but am too sleepy now.
There is an unmentioned hierarchy in this waiting room. We got here early and all the recliners were spoken for so we came into the very back RMDH room and sat on a couch. Ate some Pop Tarts and lemonade and put on the Today show.
I had to stop there. I was falling asleep and couldn't make sense. We waited and got good report after good report. Everything went as planned. We were finally able to see him and it was overwhelming. I had trouble finding where there was baby under all the tubes and bandages. The Rn told us what they all were but that didn't really help. It was just too much. We sat there and laughed. We laughed about the tubes, we laughed about our nurse that looked like Jesus. We laughed at my puffy feet and my mom posting total lies about what was happening on Facebook so we were checking Facebook to see what we were doing. We surrounded our baby with joy and laughter and I didn't cry. Ok, maybe a tear or two, but no body wracking sobs that were certainly but a baby whimper away. But he laid quietly, and we laughed.
I had wished for a plan, an instruction book on how to do this. How to act, the words to say, the choices to make. But now I think I'm glad we had to make it up as we went. We chose joy over sorrow. We chose hope over fear. We chose glory to God over despair over why us. We chose to give our child to God and let his will be done over ..... well, there wasn't really another choice there was there. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
So many thousands of people prayed for my son today. I can't even fathom how many prayer lists, churches, quilting groups, sewing machine collectors, people in shops, people we've never met, all praying for OUR baby. And God heard them. I think I'm glad there was no book.
There is a social hierarchy in a waiting room. Some people have been there for months and some wander in unsuspectingly and plop down in prime waiting room real estate. Us for example. Jeremy was taken aside by the receptionist and informed that we had staked the prime TV front property and to leave our stuff there or we would lose our spot. We have complete TV control, a place to lie down, and access to the pizza at it's hottest. I did lose control of the remote at one point and had to watch HGTV but their baby was sicker than ours and wasn't doing as well so I figured it was the least I could do. We ended up watching Ghost because it's the movie that crosses all boundaries of language and situation to touch hearts. Also, who doesn't like Patrick Swayze?
Jeremy thanked the lady that brought us pizza from the RMDH. She looked surprised. No one else thanked her. Some complained. I think pain takes away manners and I can understand that but I'm glad Jeremy showed gratitude for the service and comfort they offered us.